but Lord, may I also boldly pray...
You
inspired my dreams,
stirred up my passions,
allowed me to imagine.
Can you please carry me on your laps,
just as you promised?
Because I know,
You will.
Tuesday, 19 January 2010
Sunday, 17 January 2010
返老還童
一天下午，老婆走到客廳跟老公一起看電視，
突然想拿起昨天她放在桌上的馬克杯去泡杯咖啡，
可是怎麼找都找不到。所以，她就問身旁慵懶地坐在沙發上的老公：
「我昨天放在這裡的杯子呢？」
「什麼杯子？」
「就是我常常喝咖啡用的馬克杯阿。」
「喔，那個喔。打破了。」
「你幹麻打破我的杯子啦。」
「哀唷，誰教妳那麼愛亂放東西，我昨天才一不小心揮個手就把它打到地上了嘛‧‧‧」
「你很討厭ㄝ！你還我一個杯子！」
「ㄟㄟ哪有人這樣的阿 ？你應該要問我有沒有被刮到受傷吧 ？」
「‧‧‧」
在skype上聽完整段對話的女兒，為了避免等一下讓父母上演一段爭寵大戰，趕緊匆匆忙忙地丟下一句：「 你們很幼稚ㄝ。」就下了線。
囧。
Saturday, 5 December 2009
December 3rd.
10 AM
After sitting in bed, trying to grasp the rare moments of rest, I yawned myself out of bed.
A full drop of tear. Weird. But nothing to make of it, I thought.
My cellphone rings.
A familiar number, but a half-unexpected news.
Dad called.
It was an unusual opening, nothing of "What are you doing?" nor the lines that were supposed to start off on this day of my life.
"She just passed away."
I can't remember when I started choking myself with tears, but the sounds of Buddhist chants in the background brought me back to reality.
It was real. Not a dream.
"When?" I could barely asked the question, like it really mattered.
"Just now. About 30 min ago." Dad is a man of few words, not because he is, but because he is afraid of giving his emotions away. The brief endings to his sentences gave himself away. I knew he was holding his tears back.
How should I go about facing the day today. I really didn't know how.
The numerous birthday wishes seemed so distant and surreal. How should I receive it?
Heaviness swept my feet away.
When it has to be. It just has to be.
Life goes on.
How ironic.
After sitting in bed, trying to grasp the rare moments of rest, I yawned myself out of bed.
A full drop of tear. Weird. But nothing to make of it, I thought.
My cellphone rings.
A familiar number, but a half-unexpected news.
Dad called.
It was an unusual opening, nothing of "What are you doing?" nor the lines that were supposed to start off on this day of my life.
"She just passed away."
I can't remember when I started choking myself with tears, but the sounds of Buddhist chants in the background brought me back to reality.
It was real. Not a dream.
"When?" I could barely asked the question, like it really mattered.
"Just now. About 30 min ago." Dad is a man of few words, not because he is, but because he is afraid of giving his emotions away. The brief endings to his sentences gave himself away. I knew he was holding his tears back.
How should I go about facing the day today. I really didn't know how.
The numerous birthday wishes seemed so distant and surreal. How should I receive it?
Heaviness swept my feet away.
When it has to be. It just has to be.
Life goes on.
How ironic.
Tuesday, 24 November 2009
排山倒海
我曾經對自己說過 壓力是使人成長的關鍵
可是我也不得不承認
在壓力的波浪中 我努力地抬頭在上水面
無非是貪戀那一口新鮮的氧氣
和那短暫忘記自己還在水中的瞬間罷了
人是塵土做的
但是我都忘了
淚卻是水做的
我深深地吸了一口氣
再長長地嘆出一切
重新出發
就快到了
可是我也不得不承認
在壓力的波浪中 我努力地抬頭在上水面
無非是貪戀那一口新鮮的氧氣
和那短暫忘記自己還在水中的瞬間罷了
人是塵土做的
但是我都忘了
淚卻是水做的
我深深地吸了一口氣
再長長地嘆出一切
重新出發
就快到了
Sunday, 15 November 2009
Chances, no.
What are the chances of wishing you could have said the things you wanted to say before it's too late?
Lots.
What are the chances of the things you know that are virtually impossible becoming a reality?
Too few.
And that, the slimmest chance in life, has graced itself into my list of blessings.
I got to tell you something. Your Great-Grandmother (阿祖) just accepted Jesus Christ!
Mom said on Skype, and I was pretty sure she was joking.
For all my life (at least up until now), everyone except my mom, sister, cousin, a distant relative and I, have been either a non-believer, or a devote Buddhist. Praying for my friends to become Christians seemed more realistic than for family members who had been devout Buddhists all their lives. Even more so when they have committed themselves soley to Buddhism (落髮). They are the last person on earth that will ever believe in God, I thought to myself (let alone the language barrier).
It is true that everyone has the freedom to choose their faith, but you have been blessed with so much in your own faith, it is only natural for one to wish his/her loved ones can too.
I have been praying for my family of Buddhists to at least experience the blessings from God for as long as I remember being a Christian. It was always something that was I taught in Sunday Schools, but I never knew how important my faith has become to me until I realized I was running out of time.
My great-grand mother (90) had been diagnosed of the last stage of ovarian cancer last year, and she refused to undergo chemotherapy because somehow she thought it would heal just by surgery removal. By much prayer and effort, the surgery was successful and no other symptoms seemed to worsen her condition.
Three weeks ago, her condition worsened and another surgery was required. But this time, surgery was not promising. My mom put down all her work and left for Taiwan, expecting the worse. Grandfather was even getting prepared for her funeral. No one was confident about this.
I prayed and prayed, scared that history was going to repeat itself when grandmother passed away on her surgery platform. Mom even called to see if I was able to clear my school schedule if anything happens. Two days after the surgery, no phone calls.
"沒消息就是好消息" I kept reminding myself.
But, I called.
The call proved me right because not only the good news of her surgery and recovery, the news two weeks later once again reminded me: God will answer to all those who calls upon Him and that He is more capable than you think.
Lots.
What are the chances of the things you know that are virtually impossible becoming a reality?
Too few.
And that, the slimmest chance in life, has graced itself into my list of blessings.
I got to tell you something. Your Great-Grandmother (阿祖) just accepted Jesus Christ!
Mom said on Skype, and I was pretty sure she was joking.
For all my life (at least up until now), everyone except my mom, sister, cousin, a distant relative and I, have been either a non-believer, or a devote Buddhist. Praying for my friends to become Christians seemed more realistic than for family members who had been devout Buddhists all their lives. Even more so when they have committed themselves soley to Buddhism (落髮). They are the last person on earth that will ever believe in God, I thought to myself (let alone the language barrier).
It is true that everyone has the freedom to choose their faith, but you have been blessed with so much in your own faith, it is only natural for one to wish his/her loved ones can too.
I have been praying for my family of Buddhists to at least experience the blessings from God for as long as I remember being a Christian. It was always something that was I taught in Sunday Schools, but I never knew how important my faith has become to me until I realized I was running out of time.
My great-grand mother (90) had been diagnosed of the last stage of ovarian cancer last year, and she refused to undergo chemotherapy because somehow she thought it would heal just by surgery removal. By much prayer and effort, the surgery was successful and no other symptoms seemed to worsen her condition.
Three weeks ago, her condition worsened and another surgery was required. But this time, surgery was not promising. My mom put down all her work and left for Taiwan, expecting the worse. Grandfather was even getting prepared for her funeral. No one was confident about this.
I prayed and prayed, scared that history was going to repeat itself when grandmother passed away on her surgery platform. Mom even called to see if I was able to clear my school schedule if anything happens. Two days after the surgery, no phone calls.
"沒消息就是好消息" I kept reminding myself.
But, I called.
The call proved me right because not only the good news of her surgery and recovery, the news two weeks later once again reminded me: God will answer to all those who calls upon Him and that He is more capable than you think.
Thursday, 12 November 2009
Wednesday, 11 November 2009
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