Saturday 5 December 2009

December 3rd.

10 AM
After sitting in bed, trying to grasp the rare moments of rest, I yawned myself out of bed.
A full drop of tear. Weird. But nothing to make of it, I thought.

My cellphone rings.
A familiar number, but a half-unexpected news.
Dad called.
It was an unusual opening, nothing of "What are you doing?" nor the lines that were supposed to start off on this day of my life.

"She just passed away."

I can't remember when I started choking myself with tears, but the sounds of Buddhist chants in the background brought me back to reality.

It was real. Not a dream.

"When?" I could barely asked the question, like it really mattered.

"Just now. About 30 min ago." Dad is a man of few words, not because he is, but because he is afraid of giving his emotions away. The brief endings to his sentences gave himself away. I knew he was holding his tears back.

How should I go about facing the day today. I really didn't know how.
The numerous birthday wishes seemed so distant and surreal. How should I receive it?
Heaviness swept my feet away.

When it has to be. It just has to be.
Life goes on.
How ironic.

4 comments:

said...

My condolences to you and your family.
Be strong.

nana said...

she's gone to a better place, now she's at the side of our God...
寶貝抱抱~~>M<

Grace Lin said...

claire 乖乖..(抱)
今天看到你還是這麼堅強的樣子
還是有點心疼啊 > <
我想是神不忍心阿奏受病痛所以才趕快接她回天家的
she must be very happy and free of pain now =)
而且以後還是可以在天堂相聚的
claire加油喔^^

will pray for ur family as well!

Stacey said...

Take care, Claire.

An excerpt from Chicken Soup for the Christian Soul:

A little girl gave a wonderful explanation of the final years and death of her grandmother. She said to her mother after the funeral: "Mom, you always said that Grandma walked and talked with God. What I think happened is that one day God and Grandma went for an extra long walk, and they walked on and talked on, until God said to Grandma, 'You are a long way from home and are so tired, you had better just come home with me and stay.' And Grandma went. "